Just A Little Curious
by workingwolf
Summary: Kendall is struggling with the fact he may be gay. James, his openly gay best friend, tries to help him, only to make things worse. Now Kendall won't talk to James and seems to be broken. When something happens to Kendall, James realizes how much he does care for the boy. But what if it's too late to make things right? Rated M for the first chapter! Kames! Sub!Kendall Dom!James
1. I Know You're Curious

**Hey yall the first four chapter ARE NOT MY WORK! They are the work of ****Ireland Maslow****. This user has given me exclusive permission to continue this story.**

**Alright, I know I should do this, but for the past three hours I've been working on this. It just came to mind earlier today while doing the dishes. I already have the second chapter done too. I know I don't need any more stories going right now, but I couldn't help it! Anyway, this is rated M for a reason, mostly for this chapter. I don't normally write stuff like this, so bare with me. I hope y'all like this.**

"Kendall, I'm taking Katie and Carlos and dropping them off at the movies before heading to the studio. Are you sure you don't want to go?" Logan asked as he came into the kitchen where Kendall was snacking on grapes. Kendall shook his head no. He didn't feel like going to the movies, and he really didn't want to go sit at the studio. Logan had to go back in to do over some harmonies that got messed up. Yeah, I'm good, James should be home soon anyway." Kendall pointed out as he popped another grape in his mouth. "Alright, see you later," Logan said as they all three left.

Kendall grabbed his bowl of grapes and went to the living room. He flipped through the TV channels until he settled on re-runs of Jo's show. He and Jo were in an on-again-off-again relationship since she came back. They were currently off again. Kendall wasn't sure if this relationship was worth it anymore. When they were together, it seemed like they did nothing but fight. He wasn't sure what changed, but something did. It could have something to do with his unsureness of what team he played for.

After two episodes of New Town High, the door opened and James walked in.

"Oh, I thought everyone would be out doing something by now." James stated as he walked to the living room and sat down. James had a black, plastic bag which laid on the other side of himself from Kendall. "What'cha get?" Kendall asked, motioning toward the bag. James smirked a little and hesitated before handing the bag to Kendall.

The blond looked at the name on the front, which was written in red letter. "The Toy Box? Isn't that the erotica shop down town?" Kendall asked with a raise eyebrow. James shrugged and leaned back on the couch. Kendall opened the bag, peaking inside, before looking at James. He was a bit shocked at what his friend had bought. There was a black and blue bottle and a couple of DVDs. James bought lube and porn? Kendall felt kinda awkward now. Something caught his attention about one of the DVDs and he took them both out. His eyes widened at them. "James, these are gay porn videos!" James couldn't help but laugh at Kendall's shocked tone. "What else do you expect a gay guy to watch?"

Everyone knew James was gay. He had come out right after turning eighteen. Everyone accepted James as he was, but Kendall had been a little weird around his friend for a few weeks afterwards. Nobody knew Kendall was struggle with the fear he may be the same way. He just never told anyone. James looked at him with a mischievous look on his face. "Wanna watch one?" He asked, smirking at his younger friend. Kendall's eyes went wide. "I am **NOT **watching gay porn with you!" Kendall exclaimed as he stood up. His heart was pounding hard in his chest. "Oh, you're more of an on-your-own kinda guy, I get it."

Kendall was really confused now. He wanted to protest, but his voice wouldn't let him. "I know you watch it on your laptop." James said as if it were the most obvious thing. Kendall froze. His heart was pounding so loud he was sure James could hear it. He had watched it a couple of times. He wanted to see what it did to him. It scared him that he had actually gotten hard watching it.

"It's okay, Kendall, you're curious. How about this, we go to the bedroom, put the movie in and if it makes you uncomfortable or whatever, you can leave. You are curious, aren't you?" Kendall shifted from foot to foot. It would be nice to know for sure. He had never made it past a couple of minutes before he turned the videos off. Kendall thought to himself for a long time. "Fine," he finally answered.

James smirked and stood with his bag in hand. Kendall couldn't believe he just agreed to watch gay porn with his gay best friend. Once in the room they shared together, Kendall sat on his bed while James put one of the DVDs in. James walked over and locked the door. "Just in case someone comes home," James told Kendall, who was looking extremely nervous. James walked over and sat on Kendall's bed. "What are you doing?" Kendall asked in pure shock and fear. James chuckled a little as he got comfortable next to Kendall. "You act like I'm gonna rape you." Kendall's cheeks flushed pink, causing James to laugh a little. Kendall tried to just relax while James started the movie.

In the first scene there were two attractive guys making out on a bed. Kendall knew what kissing meant in pornos. He was feeling extremely uncomfortable as clothes started to be removed. "I thought most pornos started with an actual story line." He said, causing James to laugh at him. "Do you think if there wasn't an overabundance of sex in porn, people would watch it?" Kendall just shrugged, not really wanting to answer that question.

After a couple of minutes, the scene changed to them having sex, which caused Kendall to look away. This was usually where he would stop the videos. He glanced over at James who was focused on the movie. His cheeks flushed pink again when he saw that James was getting hard. Kendall looked back at the screen awkwardly watching the two have sex. He couldn't hold his gaze to it for very long. Maybe he wasn't gay? Maybe that's why he couldn't watch more than a couple of seconds of these videos.

He was kind of relieved when the scene finally ended and went on to one like in any other movie. About halfway through the movie, Kendall was feeling extremely uncomfortable and weird, yet he couldn't bring himself to leave. He was afraid that James would make fun of him for leaving in the middle of the movie. Or for watching this long before deciding he had had enough. Kendall managed to watch this sex scene longer than the others. He was actually hard, even though he didn't want to be. He looked over to see if James had noticed. His eyes went wide and his face turned a deep shade of red when he saw James palming himself through his jeans. James let out a small noise of pleasure which really made Kendall uncomfortable.

"You would feel better if you would relax and enjoy it." James pointed out, making eye contact. Kendall looked away because James never stopped touching himself even during the eye contact. Kendall tried to relax and eventually kept moving his hand like he was going to try to pleasure himself, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He finally started to gently stroke his jean clad erection with his fingertips. By the next sex scene, he was palming himself. He looked over at James for a brief second. He couldn't hold his gaze because James had his pants undone and was jacking off. Either he didn't notice Kendall had look at him, or he just didn't care. Kendall peaked again out of the corner of his eye. He just wanted to see if having an exposed guy beside him made him feel anything.

James had his fist closed around his length and was moving his hand quickly, making little noises here and there. It was honestly hot. Kendall found himself extremely turned on by watching James. James was using the lube he had just bought and was breathing heavy now. Kendall felt awkward doing so, but he undid his own pants. He tried to jack off like James was, but couldn't keep his hand moving. He kept stopping to look away from the TV and James. He was really having a hard time enjoying himself in this situation.

James noticed and stopped what he was doing and grabbed the lube. James had been attracted to Kendall for a while now and really wanted him in some way. He figured for now he would just help him get off. "Here, use this," he told the struggling blond. Kendall shyly took the lube and put some in his hand and started rubbing his hand up and down his shaft again. James noticed after a couple of strokes, Kendall seemed to be having trouble enjoying himself again. James chuckled, "here, let me try something."

He grabbed the lube and some in his right hand and reached toward Kendall, who stopped him. "What are you doing?" Kendall asked, seeming scared. "Just relax," James told him as he took Kendall's shaft in his hand. Kendall's breath hitched in his throat and his body tensed up at the touch.

Nobody, not even girls had touched him there. That's right, the Kendall Knight was a virgin. The moment just never seemed right for him to do anything with girls. James watched Kendall's face as he tried to pleasure him. He started to twist his hand when he would reach the tip. It didn't take long before Kendall was panting and gasping. He never knew it would feel so good to be jacked off by another guy. "J-James, I don't know about this. I shouldn't be enjoying it." Kendall reached down to make James stop.

"Kendall, it's okay, it's just a hand job. It's not like we're having sex." James pointed out.

After staring at James for a moment, Kendall removed his hand from James', allowing him to go back to pleasuring the blond. Kendall leaned his head back against the headboard and closed his eyes, trying to focus on the pleasure rather than who was giving it to him. James smirked and sped up his hand movements. He liked that Kendall was enjoying himself so much. The blond was panting and moaning softly. It wasn't long before he was thrusting up into James' hand. After a couple more minutes, James grabbed the lube again. He squirt some down Kendall's shaft, using his hand to smear it around. Kendall let out a breathy curse at the added slickness. It made him feel more pleasure now that it was wetter.

"That feels good," Kendall moaned out as he thrusted up into James' hand. "See, you just had to relax," James replied with a small chuckle. It didn't take much longer before Kendall was cumming all over himself and James' hand. James continued to pump Kendall until he was done. James grabbed some tissues off the night stand and cleaned his hand off. He handed a few to Kendall so he could clean himself up.

"So, are you curious about anything else?" James smirked as Kendall zipped his pants back up after getting cleaned up. Kendall didn't answer, he just stood up off the bed and left the room. James was confused at first but then figured that Kendall was feeling confused about what just happened. James quickly took care of his own horniness, which only took a couple of strokes since he had gotten extremely turned on by Kendall.

After he was done, he cleaned himself up. He did his pants back up and got off the bed. He put the lube and DVDs back in the bag and then stuck them under his bed. He walked out of the bedroom and found Kendall was in the bathroom. The door was open and Kendall was splashing water on his face. "Are you okay?" James asked, leaning against the door frame. "No... I don't know... James, I can't be gay," Kendall said, sounding honestly scared.

James could tell he was really having a hard time with this. "Kendall, just because you enjoyed getting a hand job from a guy doesn't mean you're gay. What just happened was hot and brought you pleasure, it's natural. There's nothing wrong with being a little curious about this stuff either." James told him, hoping to help Kendall. "You don't understand, James." Kendall said before pushing past James in a hurry. "Kendall!" James yelled as the blond ran out of the apartment.

James had just been trying to help Kendall sort out his feelings. He knew had been curious about gay relations. He caught him watching gay porn late at night. Kendall hadn't known he woke up to find him watching it. He wasn't trying to upset Kendall or confuse him farther. He was attracted to Kendall, but he didn't want to do anything to damage their friendship. He had thought this would help Kendall and put an end to him wanting Kendall. It didn't do either though. He more attracted to Kendall now.

He sighed and got a root beer out of the fridge before going to the couch. He turned the TV on and flipped through the channels. He figured it wouldn't matter what was on, he was too busy thinking about the blond. He wanted to give Kendall time to himself, but he also wanted to go after him to make sure he was okay.

**Like I said, I normally don't write like this, but I just had to write this. I have the next chapter done already, so if you want it, I'll post it. But only if I get feedback on what you thought. So let me know if you want to see more, otherwise, I'll take this down. Let me know if you want more.**


	2. How Could You?

**This is not my story or my ideas! I have contacted the author of this story and I have been given exclusive rights to continue this story! Please note that this is the original work of Ireland Maslow.**

**Since you seem to want the next chapter, here it is. I've been working on the third chapter too, but I have other stories in progress which I'm also working on. So I'm kinda jumping back and forth between them. Oh, and I do want to point out that I do proofread my chapters, but I'm sure there are still mistakes here and there. Sorry if there are. Thank you for reviewing! I honestly thought I was just going to get like maybe two reviews, but I got FIVE! Thank you!**

"Hey," Logan said as he closed the door. "Hey," James replied, his tone sounding disappointed, which Logan picked up on. "You okay?" He asked, coming over to sit next to his friend. "I think I did something really stupid." James confessed, leaning forward to put his head in his hands. "What do you mean?" Logan asked, getting a little worried. James wasn't sure he should tell Logan what happened. He figured as long as he didn't tell him it was Kendall, it would be fine. He knew Kendall wouldn't want anyone to know James gave him a hand job while watching gay porn.

"I gave a hand job to a guy who was curious about gays. Afterwards, he wouldn't talk to me and when I tried asking if he was okay, he got upset, said I didn't understand why he couldn't be gay, and left. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I was only trying to help him, but I think I made it worse." Logan seemed taken back by the situation. He didn't think that was what James was going to tell him.

"Well, maybe you need to go talk to him and let him know you were just trying to help." James sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. "The problem there, is that I don't know where he's at." "Do you care about him?" "Of course I do!" James said, looking over at Logan. He really wished he could tell Logan exactly what was going on, but he kept it to himself. No one knew about his crush. "If you really care about him, then you'll go find him and make this right." James let out a groan. He knew Logan was right. This wasn't going to get better unless they talked it out. "Fine," James said, standing up and leaving the apartment. He wasn't sure where Kendall could have gone. He went to the lobby, the pool, the park, and then double checked them. He didn't think Kendall would have gone to the studio. He decided to check the ice rink down the road from The Palm Woods.

After getting to the rink, he walked in and looked around. Kendall didn't have his gear, so it was doubtful that he would be on the ice. He finally located the blond sitting on one of the benches with his head in hands. He walked over and stood next to him. "James, just leave me alone, please," Kendall said in a begging tone. "Not until you talk to me." James said stubbornly. "Kendall, I didn't mean to make things more complicated for you. I was just trying to help." "I know, James, I know. I'm not mad at you." Kendall rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands before looking at James. "What am I going to do if I really am gay? What are people going to say? What will my family think? My fans? The media?" Kendall's tone showed just how scared he was.

"Kendall, remember when I came out? How hard it was for me? Then Gustavo saying that I being gay was going to really up the bands status? Once I came out, I had thousands of mean comments every day. People telling me how gross I was, how much they hated me being gay, fans saying that I couldn't be gay because then they couldn't have me. They made me feel like I made a mistake, that I **was** a mistake. But you know what? I don't care about that anymore. I have more people who support me than those who hate me."

Kendall stared down at the floor for a long time before looking up at James. "How did you know? That you were gay, I mean."

"I knew once I realized I was more attracted to a certain guy than any girl before him. I couldn't have him, so I found someone else, a girl. I denied it at first, said I was just getting the feelings confused. But while I was dating that girl, I was thinking about that guy. I broke up with her because it wasn't fair to her since I didn't know what I was. I finally accepted that I was gay after a year of denying it, maybe longer now that I think back." James said, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

He wanted to tell Kendall that he was that certain guy, but didn't want to scare him more. He had always kinda gravitated toward the blond from the time they met. "Who was the guy?" Kendall asked without looking at James. James bit his lip. He didn't want to lie, but he also didn't want to tell Kendall it was him. "You don't know him," he knew that was a stupid lie. He and the guys hadn't been apart much since they met, so there were very few people they didn't all know. Growing up in a small Minnesota town didn't help either. "Who was it, James?" Kendall asked again, looking up with a knowing look in his eyes, along with fear. James looked into Kendall's green eyes, still biting his lip.

"It's me, isn't it? You like me? Oh man, I just let you do... that... to me while you have a crush on me. You took advantage of me for your own pleasure? What did you think? That I was going to enjoy it and let you take it farther? Is that why you asked if I was curious about anything else? You're a pervert!" Kendall didn't care that he was yelling. James couldn't stand seeing the hurt look on Kendall's face or the tears in his beautiful green eyes. He thought James was trying to help, but now he realized that James was trying to fill his sick fantasy. "Kendall, I do like you, but that wasn't why I did that. I swear I wasn't trying to take advantage of you! I didn't even mean for it to go as far as it did!" James said in a begging tone. Kendall just shook his head as the tears escaped. "You know what, just don't talk to me, and don't you dare ever touch me again." Kendall turned and walked away from James.

James knew he had to find a way to make this right. He had to prove to Kendall that he wasn't trying to hurt him. That was never the point of what he did. He didn't mean to hurt the blond. James stood and started back home. He tried to think of what he could do to make things better. Talking to Kendall wasn't going to help and neither would having someone else talk to him. Maybe Kendall just needed time. He couldn't stay mad at him forever could he? He decided it was best to just leave Kendall alone for now. Maybe convince Logan or Carlos to switch rooms for the time being. He wanted Kendall to come around on his own time. He wasn't going to force it. He really wanted Kendall to understand that he cared about him.

Kendall wasn't at the apartment when James got back but Carlos and Logan were. He explained that they had a fight and asked if one of them would switch rooms for a while. Carlos offered to do it, which James was thankful for. Logan stared at him for a long time. James hoped he didn't figure it out. But being the brainiac he was, he would put two and two together. He would have to deal with that when the time came. James and Carlos moved what they need to each other's rooms. This wasn't a permanent switch, so they wouldn't have to move all their stuff. He kind of wished Logan was switching with him. He didn't want to be stuck in the same room with Logan once he started to put it all together. Which wouldn't take long. He knew it was just a matter of time before he was asking questions.

It was close to nine that night before Kendall returned home. He didn't even look at James, he just went to the bedroom. Kendall stopped before getting on the bed, remembering what happened there this afternoon. I just shook his head and stripped the comforter and sheets from the bed. He piled them up in the corner of the room and went to get the extra blankets his mom kept in her room. He couldn't bring himself to sleep on the bedding he was taken advantage of on. It was bad enough he had to sleep in the same bed. He felt betrayed. He never thought that his best friend would be the one to take advantage of him, to use him.

It just wasn't right. Was James really that big of a perv? Kendall felt the tears coming again. He tried to think of something else. He was honestly hurt by what James did. He had always been a little attracted to James, but he didn't think anything of it. Until he thought he was gay, that is. He couldn't believe James tried to convince him he was helping when really he was looking for a way to get Kendall to willing let him molest him. Kendall crawled into his bed, not caring that it was only nine. He just wanted to sleep. He didn't want to think about this anymore. He wished it hadn't happened. He wished he had just told James no and left. He really felt dirty now, like he had been molested by a creep. He couldn't help but view James that way. He felt taken advantage of and that wasn't going away any time soon.

**Aw, poor Kendall. :( Like I said, I am working on the next chapter. But I will be away this weekend from tomorrow afternoon until sometime Sunday. I'm spending the weekend with my best friend. :D****Review please! :D Oh, and to new readers, if you like me, I have a Facebook "fan page." I normally post about my stories, let you know when they've been updated and or ask for suggestions if I'm having trouble. I also post pics of the BTR guys sometimes. It's Ireland Maslow, it's should be the first thing that comes up. So "Like" it if you want. :)**


	3. You're Not A Victim

**Hey yall the first four chapter ARE NOT MY WORK! They are the work of Ireland Maslow. This user has given me exclusive permission to continue this story.**

**Sorry it took so long for me to update! I kinda lost motivation to work on the stories I have going. But I managed to find some for this story. I started working on two one-shots also. One is James and one of my OCs with Adam Young a.k.a Owl City and my best friend's OC. The other is a JamesxLucy one-shot. Both will be finished and posted on the 22nd of this month, which is the 3 year anniversary of me being a part of this wonderful website. :D**

**Thank you for all the reviews! I honestly didn't expect this story to go over as well as it already has! Please keep it up! I love reading them! :D**

"Kendall! You have to talk to me sometime!" James had been desperately trying to get Kendall to talk to him. It had been a week since what happened in the bedroom. James really regretted what he did. Kendall wouldn't give him the time of day though. Kendall slammed the bedroom door in James' face, locking it so he couldn't get in.

James closed his eyes and sighed heavily before turning and going to the other room. He had to talk to Kendall, and it had to be when nobody was home, which wasn't often. He wasn't sure how to get the blond to listen. He had tried everything, he even texted him. Kendall probably didn't read it, just deleted it. James was pacing in the living room, biting his lip, and racking his brains. There had to be a way to get him to listen. There just had to be. He wasn't about to let his stupidity ruin their lifelong friendship.

"You okay, dude?"

James jumped at the voice and turned to see Logan and Carlos by the door. He stared for a moment before shaking his head. "Is this about the guy from the other day?" Logan asked as he walked toward his taller friend. James just nodded. He was surprised Logan hadn't figured out that it was Kendall yet. It was obvious there was something off between the two. He knew it wouldn't be long before Logan knew. "What guy?" Carlos asked, falling on the couch on his side. He flipped the TV on and started through the channels. "It's nothing," James answered, not feeling like talking about it. "But I want to know," Carlos whined.

James sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Long story short, I gave a hand job to a guy who thought he might be gay, he got mad, and now won't talk to me." He was a little taken back when Carlos burst into laughter. "I guess he's not really gay then," the Latino said once he stopped laughing. James just shook his head and went to the kitchen. Logan followed him and leaned against the counter while James raided the fridge. "Do you want to talk about it?" James knew this kind of stuff made Logan uncomfortable. James chuckled a little and shook his head. "I'll figure it out somehow." He noticed Logan seemed to relax a little.

"Well, you can talk to me if you need to. Maybe I can help?" He said, seeming unsure. James was sure there wasn't much Logan could do to help. Unless he can magically convince Kendall to talk to him. Which he was beginning to believe wouldn't happen. They heard the bedroom door open and footsteps. Kendall didn't even make eye contact with James when he walked into the kitchen. He was dressed in a sky blue tank top and grey sweat pants with running shoes. He grabbed a bottle of water before heading toward the door. James waited for a couple of minutes before leaving. He had to talk to Kendall. He wasn't dressed for running, but he was faster than Kendall, so it didn't really matter. He caught up to Kendall, who didn't even acknowledge him.

"Kendall, we need to talk about what happened."

"No, we don't, what happened was a mistake," Kendall said.

The blond sped up his jog a little, implying the conversation was over. James wasn't taking no for an answer. "How long are you going to stay mad?" James asked, Kendall caught him off guard when he stopped. "How long am I going to stay mad? James you... you molested me," he said quietly. "People don't just get over that overnight." "I didn't mean for that to happen! I got caught in the moment!" James pleaded, Kendall looked off to the side.

"When you come up with a better excuse, I'll be around," with that, Kendall started running again. James didn't bother chasing after him. He felt all the emotions he had building up inside. He reached up and ran a hand through his hair before kicking the nearby building. He stood there for a moment before deciding the only thing he could do was head back to the apartment. One way or another, he would make this right.

Kendall kept pushing himself to run faster. He wasn't used to running, it made his heart rate go wild and his muscle ache. But he enjoyed that. The burn and pain made him almost forget James. They had been friends since pre-school and now this had to happen? It just wasn't fair. Kendall remembered Katie saying that friendships like theirs normally ended as the friends got older, but he didn't believe her. Maybe she was right. He didn't want to lose James as a friend, but he didn't see how their friendship could be the same after what James did.

He also was worried about losing Logan and Carlos. They would be torn between two people who aren't friends anymore. That wouldn't be fair to them. The band would be over and they would disappoint thousands of people. Kendall stopped running, leaning against a nearby wall before doubling over. He was breathing heavy and dripping sweat. He wasn't sure how long he had been running. After somewhat catching his breath, he stood up straight. He looked around and realized he was a good ways from The Palm Woods. He decided to walk back instead of run. He wasn't entirely ready to go back, but he had nowhere else to go.

Someone was renting out space in the studio, all his friends were at The Palm Woods, and he didn't have any money on him. He hoped that maybe James went somewhere so he could have at least an hour to himself. Kendall worried about when people realized something was off between him and James. What if they started asking questions? What if James told them what happened? What if he makes it sound like Kendall wanted it to happen? Did he want it to happen? No, he couldn't have! But he didn't really do anything to stop it from happening. He _did _allow it to happen. But that doesn't mean he _wanted_ it to happen, right?

He was just confused and got caught up in the moment. It wasn't supposed to happen. By the time Kendall got back to the apartment the muscles in his legs were burning. All he wanted to do was get a cold bottle of water and crash on the couch for a while. Nobody was in the apartment, at least not in the main part anyway. He had seen Logan in the lobby and Carlos was by the pool. He wasn't sure where his mom, Katie or James were at. Kendall collapsed on the couch and drank half the bottle of water. He moved to lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. It was nice to just sit in the quiet and relax. After a few minutes of staring at the white ceiling, he moved to put his arm over his face, burying it in the crook of his bent elbow. He shut his eyes and laid there. He could faintly hear people down at the pool, but it wasn't too loud.

He began to drift off to sleep, but was woken up by someone's footsteps. He moved his arm to see who it was and felt his heart stop when he saw James. The brunette looked away and kept walking toward the kitchen. He started getting stuff out of the fridge. Kendall tried not to look at him, tried to just ignore him, and continue relaxing. "Do you want a sandwich?" James asked, Kendall looked over at him for a second before shaking his head. He didn't say anything, trying to show James he was ignoring him. It seemed to work because James didn't say another word to the blond. After James made his sandwich, he sat down at the counter and ate quietly. The tension and awkwardness could be felt throughout the room. Kendall put his arm back over his face, trying his best to pretend James wasn't there. He kept peaking though, it felt like he couldn't trust James. He hated that feeling, but he couldn't make it go away either.

"So, are you just going to pretend I don't exist now?" James asked, sounding a bit hurt. Kendall didn't move or say anything. "Fine, you know what, be that way." James stood up and made the couple of steps to be standing in front of Kendall, who moved to rest on his elbows. "I didn't do anything wrong! If you didn't want it to happen, you would have stopped me! It doesn't matter that it felt good, if you really had a problem with it, you would have stopped it! Quit acting like I raped you! You let it happen! The only person you have to blame is yourself! Had you really had a problem with it, I would have stopped! All you had to do was tell me you really didn't want it to go that far! You're not a victim, Kendall! Quit acting like one! It was your own fault it happened! I was trying to help! Believe me or don't, I don't care anymore! But I'm telling the truth! You should have pushed me away! You should have gotten up! But no, you laid there and you enjoyed it! If you want to be upset about something, be upset that you were stupid enough to let it happen!" James was yelling so loud it hurt his throat. He had tears stinging his eyes from anger and hurt. He held eye contact with Kendall, who looked about ready to cry, for a few seconds longer before storming toward the bedrooms.

Kendall heard the bedroom door slam shut as hard as it could. He moved to sit up on the couch with his elbows on his knees and head resting in his hands. He fought back the tears the best he could. James was right. If he really did want it to stop, he would have tried harder. But now that it happened, he didn't like it. Kendall wasn't sure what to feel. Part of him said that James was right, but the other part said that he was wrong, and it wouldn't have mattered what he said, James would have done it anyway. That part told Kendall that James was a sick pervert who used him. He wasn't sure which part was telling the truth. Would James have actually stopped if he pushed him away? Or would he have been too into it and forced Kendall to enjoy it? Kendall didn't want to admit he was just playing the victim. Maybe all this was his fault. The only thing Kendall knew for sure was that this wouldn't get better anytime soon.

**Aw, poor, confused Kendall. I feel bad for him. :( I also feel bad for James. Who do you think is to blame? I hope you like this chapter! I've been working on for the past couple of hours. It's now almost 2 AM and I just finished. I was pretty pleased with the ending. Review please! **


	4. Jealousy Is A Desired Color

**Hey y'all the first four chapter ARE NOT MY WORK! They are the work of Ireland Maslow. This user has given me exclusive permission to continue this story!**

**I'm sorry I haven't been updating much. I don't really have an excuse other than being stuck. I reached out to those who have reviewed on this story for help and I got enough to be able to write this chapter. Thank you to No-Emotions-To-Cry for the idea of Kendall getting confused from being jealous. And thank you to KendallsCoverGirl804 for a part I can't mention here because it'll ruin the chapter. Also thank you to Chey21, annabellex2, and winterschild11 for your suggestions, I still plan to work your ideas into the story too, but they didn't really fit this chapter. :)**

**Thank you for reviewing, reading, favoriting, and following! :D And thank you to KingdomJester a.k.a Lucas, for the chapter title. :) Warning: More grown up stuff. **

"Okay, spill it, what's going on?" Logan asked as he sat down next to Kendall on the couch. "What do you mean?" Kendall asked, worried that Logan had an idea of what happened. "I know something is going on. James and Carlos switched rooms, you two barely talk to each other or even look at each other! Something obviously happened and you two need to work it out. For the sake of the friendship and the sake of the band." Logan lectured. "It's nothing you need to worry about, Logan. We just... We need some time away from each other is all." Kendall told him, standing up to walk away. Logan, who was normally the gentle one, grabbed his arm and pulled him to sit back down. "What is going on between you two?" He asked, his serious and demanding. Logan hated when something was wrong between his friends. Kendall sighed and looked down. "Look, we just had a little... misunderstanding, we'll work it out," Kendall said, hoping Logan would drop it. The brunette just sighed and let go of his friend's arm. Kendall stood up and went to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. "I'm going to go to the library. I need to get some studying done," Logan said, standing up. He knew something was really bothering his blonde friend, but Kendall wasn't the type to really say what was wrong. Kendall just nodded, letting his friend know he had heard him.

Kendall was in his and Carlos' room with his guitar out. He had been thinking a lot about what happened. He thought having a gay experience would make it clear to him what he was. All it did was make him more confused. He started to strum on the guitar, hoping it would clear his head. He wasn't sure what he was playing, he just strummed. Maybe James was right. Maybe it was his fault. Maybe he's being unfair to James. Maybe he needed to sit down and hear James out.

His thoughts were cut off by the sound of a door slam. It was evening so he figured everyone would be slowly making their way back to the apartment. He didn't think anything of it, he just kept strumming. He started to wonder who it was when he heard something, or someone, hit the wall in the hallway. He heard the door to Logan and James' room open. He tried to ignore it and focus on his music. He heard the bed in the next room squeak loudly, like someone had jumped on it. He stopped strumming, his curiosity getting the best of him. He was confused when he heard what sounded like muffled moans. What was going on? "Mm, James!" Kendall's eyes went wide when he heard a guy moan. James seriously brought somebody home to hook up? What was he thinking? Kendall wasn't sure why he was feeling hurt now. He should be happy James had somebody else, right? That means he'll leave him alone now. The person began moaning a little louder, causing Kendall to feel uncomfortable. He didn't want to just sit here and listen to them screw. He grabbed his phone and sent a quick text to Jo.

**Wanna hang out? -Kendall.**

He got up and grabbed his headphones, sticking the earbuds in. He turned it on to his playlist and turned the music up loud enough so that he couldn't hear anything else. He sat on his bed as he waited for her to reply.

**Sure, Lucy and her boyfriend are having a party at his place. Wanna go to that? –Jo**.

Kendall hit the reply button instantly.

**Sounds great! What time? -Kendall. **

**Meet me in the lobby in twenty minutes. -Jo.**

He didn't bother replying, he stood up and went to his closet to change. He put on a pair of ripped and faded blue jeans, a black long sleeved t-shirt that had very dark gray lines across it, and a pair of dark blue Vans. He waited to take his earbuds out until he had his wallet, phone, and keys and was ready to head out the door. He knew Jo wouldn't be in the lobby yet, but he didn't want to hang around the apartment any longer. He knew he shouldn't be feeling the way he did. So what if James wanted to screw somebody else? Isn't that what he wanted? For James to forget about his little crush and move on? So why did it bother him so much?

When he got off the elevator in the lobby he saw Katie walking in his direction. "Hey, big bro," she said, stopping in front of him. "Where are you heading?" He asked, hoping she wasn't going to the apartment. "Up to the apartment," she told him as if it were obvious. Kendall didn't want her going up there, not yet anyway. Katie was a smart kid, way too smart for her age. She knew about the birds and the bees. She knew a lot more about it than Kendall was comfortable with. Even though she knew about it, he wasn't about to tell her she couldn't go up there because James was having sex. "Look, just go to the pool or something. I don't want you going back to the apartment for a couple of hours, okay?" He asked and she looked at him oddly. "Why not?" He reached up and ran a hand through his hair. "Just please don't go up there for a couple of hours? Please?" He asked in a begging tone. Katie was obviously confused, but she nodded her head anyway. "Okay, I won't," she said, staring at her brother. She wasn't sure what had been going on with Kendall, but she knew something was wrong. Every time she asked he would just tell her he was fine. "Thank you," he said, reaching out to hug her. He felt relieved when she headed to the pool area. Kendall sat down on the lobby couch and started to think of what would have happened had Katie gone up. The more he thought about it, the madder he got. Was James really that careless? They have a kid living under the same roof as them. Or the fact that his mother could go back there while James was doing _that_. Did James really not care? Was he really that bad? "Hey, ready to go?" Jo's voice broke Kendall from his thoughts and he smiled up at her. "Hey," was all he said as he stood up.

The music was loud and everybody had a cup of something in their hand. Kendall wasn't one to get drunk, especially since he's under-aged, but right now he didn't care. He raised his cup to his lips and took another drink. He wasn't really sure what he was drinking since Jo had gotten it for him. The more he thought about James and that guy back at the apartment, the more he wanted to drink.

"Wanna dance?" A black-haired girl asked Kendall. She was wearing a black spaghetti strap shirt with the word "Party" in white letters on it, a dark red leather skirt that was extremely short, and high black high heels. Kendall just smiled and let her lead him out to the middle of the room. They began to dance with each other. More like _in_ each other. The girl kept rubbing her body against his and he tried his best to move with her. He normally wouldn't do this kind of thing, or even be at this kind of place, but tonight he didn't care. "Did you come here with somebody?" She asked over the music. He looked over at Jo who was talking to Lucy before looking back at the black-haired girl. The girl was staring over at Jo now. "Kinda," he answered and she smiled a little. "She your girlfriend?" "Not anymore," he answered as they continued to dance on each other. "Sweetie, I could give you so much more of a good time than that little blonde ever could." She said before turning and pressing her back against Kendall's chest. She moved her hips from side-to-side and he reached up to place his hands on her hips. Their bodies couldn't get any closer than at that moment. After the song ended, she moved away from him. "Come find me in a bit if you decide you want that good time." She gave him a little wink before walking off.

He stood there and watched her walk before he went back to where Jo was at. He picked up what he assumed was his drink and downed what was left. "Wanna dance with me?" Jo asked, seeming hopeful. Kendall just smiled a shrugged a little. "Sure," he said before being led out into the crowd again. He could feel all the alcohol taking effect on his body and he had to admit, it felt kinda nice. As him as Jo danced pretty much the same him and the black-haired girl had, he began to forget everything going on at home. He just wanted to have a night of fun instead of stress,

It was nearing midnight and Jo and Kendall found themselves dancing with each other again. They had stuck together most of the night. She was facing him and they were rubbing their bodies together. Kendall took ahold of Jo's head and mashed their lips together in a sloppy kiss. They began to make out kinda wildly as they danced. He moved down to her neck and moaned against her skin. "Wanna go find a room?" He asked and she giggled a little before nodding. He smirked and took her hand to lead her off. They made their way up the stairs to find an empty room. At this stage in the party, Kendall figured it would be hard. After trying each room, they finally found a back bedroom that was empty. The second they were inside, Kendall had Jo pinned against the door and was kissing her.

She was grabbing at the hem of his shirt and lifting it up. He broke the kiss just long enough to pull it off and drop it on the floor. She placed her hands on his chest as they continued to make out. He reached up and started to unbutton her dark purple button up shirt. She allowed it to slide off her shoulders and to the floor, leaving her in her black bra. They made their way to the bed, him falling back with her on top of him. She moved and began kissing down his body. She stopped at his jeans and began to undo them. He stared down at her with a little smile. After she got his jeans and boxers down, she began to rub his shaft with her hand. He felt frustrated that it didn't drive him crazy. It was nothing like what he felt when... No, he liked girls. He couldn't help but let out a small gasp when she put him in her mouth. He allowed her teasing and foreplay to go on for several minutes before he sat up and moved her up on the bed. He had her sit up so that he could take her bra off. She laid back down after the bra was gone.

He kissed down her body and ran his hands all over her body. After a couple of minutes, he undid her jeans and pulled them off. He moved up her body and connected their lips again. He snuck his hand into her panties. "Mm, Kendall," she moaned into the kiss. After a few moments of him doing this, he removed his hand and sat up to pull her panties off. For a split second he questioned whether he wanted to do this or not. He didn't allow himself enough time to back out. "Do you have a condom?" He asked, realizing he didn't have one. "Yeah, in my back pocket," she told him, motioning toward the floor. "But you know, I'm okay with not using one." Her tone was sexy and lustful. Kendall just chuckled a little and climbed off the bed. He wasn't stupid, if this was going to happen, he was going to be safe about it. He didn't want any kids yet. He grabbed her jeans off the floor and pulled the small packet out of her pocket. He opened it and put it on before climbing back on the bed. He climbed over top of her and kissed her again.

She reached down in between them and helped him ease inside. He pushed in slowly at first but didn't waste time before he started to move quickly. She was moaning loudly and Kendall felt pleasured, but it just wasn't like he thought it should be. He wasn't going crazy over this moment like he should be. Even with the doubts, he continued. After he came, he rolled off her and laid there for a moment to catch his breath. After a couple of minutes, he reached down and removed the condom. Jo snuggled up to his side and it wasn't long before she was out. It was a combination of being tired from what just happened and all the alcohol. Kendall laid there and stared at the ceiling. His brain was trying to make sense of what just happened, but in his drunken state, it was hard. He was too exhausted to deal with this right now. He allowed himself to be taken over with sleep. He was too tired and drunk to really care at the moment.

Kendall woke up with a pounding head and feeling sick. It registered to him that there was a smaller body next to him. It was Jo. He felt really confused. What did he do last night? He carefully sat up on the bed and removed the blanket. He stood up and grabbed his boxers and jeans and pulled them on. He pulled his phone out and seen he had twenty unread text messages from everyone at the apartment. He didn't feel like replying. He would just deal with it when he got home. He grabbed his shirt and put it on. He looked back at Jo who was still sleeping. He gathered her clothing and laid them at the foot of the bed for when she woke up. He then quietly left the room. There were still people passed out around the house. He didn't bother with any of the people, he just left. He wasn't ready to go home yet, though. He got his keys out and got in his car. He decided to go to a small coffee shop down the road to wait for the hang over to wear off. He knew that would take a couple of hours.

He tried not to think about what happened on the drive there. He knew what happened, but what scared him was that it didn't do anything for him. Was it just that he was over Jo? Their on-again-off-again relationship had been going on for a long time. Maybe he was just getting tired of it. It was kind of exhausting at times. Then it came to mind that he's been feeling this way for a while. He started to get this way about the time he started to think he could be... No, that couldn't be it. There was no way he was actually... It just wasn't possible. But he did get more pleasure out of what happened with James than what he experienced last night. After he ordered his coffee, he sat down at one of the small tables. There were a couple of other people in the shop, but not many. He took a sip of his coffee and watched as people came and went. He heard his phone which caused him to sigh. He pulled it out of his pocket and seen it was from James.

**I know you're probably mad at me, but your mom is freaking out! Unless you got kidnapped you have no right to be ignoring her! Text your mom!... And we need to talk when you get home. -James. **

He felt his heart drop at the last part. That couldn't mean anything good. He didn't reply to James, instead he started to text his mom.

**I went out with Jo and Lucy last night and fell asleep. I'll be home shortly. Love you. -Kendall.**

He knew he would be in trouble. He may be eighteen, but he still respected his mom and she didn't care what age he was, he was still her child.

**You could have at least text me and let me know where you were. I love you too. -Mom.**

His mom has always had problems with them taking off in such a big city. With all the news reports of people being kidnapped or killed, it made her nervous. She was worried something would happen to one of the kids. She knew she couldn't hold on to them forever though. Eventually they would have to be able to move out and live their own lives without checking in with her.

**I know, I'm sorry. -Kendall.**

He didn't know what else to say. He hoped she wouldn't be at the door waiting for him. He wanted to be able to shower before he was around anyone else. He smelt like alcohol and he knew it would kill his mom to know he had been out drinking. And he didn't want to even think of what would happen if she knew he slept with Jo. After he finished his coffee, he left the shop to start home. He wasn't ready to go there, but he knew sooner or later he would have to. It was best to get it over with, right?

He got in his car and started home. His head was still hurting a bit, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. He kind of wished the drive would take longer. He stood outside the door of 2J for a few minutes before opening the door. He braced himself to be yelled at, but was surprised to find the apartment empty. He figured his mom felt better knowing he was okay and on his way home. He went to his bedroom to get a change of clothes so he could shower. He was caught off guard when the other bedroom door opened. James walked out and seemed a little surprised to see Kendall too.

"About time you came home," he said, Kendall didn't reply. James pulled his eyebrows together and stared at Kendall. He leaned forward a bit before looking at him in shock. "You were out drinking last night?" James asked in a hushed tone. "At least I wasn't screwing some slut last night." Kendall flinched at his own words. He didn't mean to say them. He didn't screw a slut, but he did have sex last night too. And he felt bad for calling someone he doesn't even know a slut. "I thought you wanted me to move on? I figured you would be happy that I was with someone else," James said, his eyes showing a hint of glee. He was enjoying Kendall's jealousy. "I didn't mean for you to go screw the first person who would get into bed with you!" Kendall said, a bit louder than intended.

James made a waving down motion with his hand. "Katie is still asleep," he told Kendall. "Oh, now you care if Katie knows you were having sex. I had to stop Katie from coming up here yesterday while you were doing that! Did you even think about the possibility of her coming up here and catching you?" James stood there with his arms crossed and looking down. He hadn't actually thought about it. He actually brought that guy here to make Kendall jealous. He was so focused on Kendall hearing him and knowing what was happening, he didn't think about Katie. "Just, go shower before your mom comes back. I still want to talk to you," James said before walking past Kendall. The blonde walked into his bedroom, grabbed his clothes and then headed to the bathroom. James was in the kitchen looking through the fridge. Kendall didn't look at him as he walked past and to the bathroom. He was kind of ticked that James didn't even think about Katie. He was also worried about what James wanted to talk about…

**The part about Kendall and Jo hooking up at that party was KendallsCoverGirls804's idea. :) I hope this chapter was good and you enjoyed it. Since I mostly have the next chapter figured out and I don't have anything going on this weekend, I'll be able to write and get the next one out quickly. ****J**** Who else has been watching James on DWTS? This past week was amazing! The Jive is a great dance and nailed it! Also, hearing him talk about being bullied was sad. :( But I'm glad he overcame it and booked Big Time Rush! :D**


	5. The Feelings Come Out

Kendall got in the shower and went about cleaning himself. As he washed his hair he thought about James. He was upset and, he hated to admit it, jealous, that James would take another man to his bed. He thought James had a crush on him. But what he couldn't figure out is if he has a crush on…..No, no, no, no, no, there is no way at all he has a crush on James. If he was straight then he couldn't have a crush on a guy, there was no way possible.

James waited patiently on the couch. He tried to get his thoughts together so when Kendall came out he could talk to him. James knew he had to talk to him before he gets himself hurt. James was interrupted by Kendall coming out of Logan and Carlos' room. "Kendall, we need to talk about what happened." James moved over so Kendall could sit by him, only for him to sit across the sitting space in a chair. James knew that this would be a long talk and it would be full of its challenges. "What is there to talk about James? What had happened was that you were being a pervert and someone who takes advantage of your best friend. We have been friends **years** James, why would you do that to me?" Kendall stated with a tear falling down his cheek. Kendall's confused and hurt look hurt James to the core. James felt his heart break into small little pieces.

"Kendall I was only trying to help you. Yes, I have feelings for you and no I am not a pervert. Kendall I was not trying to molest you, or rape you. You have looked like you have been debating with this for a long time and I thought that if I gave you that little hand job it would clear things up, not to confuse you or hurt you more." James was crying as he stopped speaking to the young blonde.

Kendall sat shocked for a moment at what he heard. "James you hurt me regardless of what your intentions were, and I don't know if I can forgive you for what you did. You _molested_ me James. I don't want you the way you want me and if you don't want to come to terms with it, then that sucks for you. "Kendall was stone-faced and serious as he stated this. James looked as though he was punched in the gut. "Kendall please at least tell me what it was that bothered you when I touched you. Did I make you feel like you were filthy? Did I cause any trauma? Was it because it confused you? Is it the uncertainty as to whether or not you like guys or girls? Please Kendall I beg you, please tell me what is going on. I don't want to lose you. I know I can't stand to lose you. Without you here it feels as though you were gone." James was on his knees in front of the blonde singer as he cried into his lap and after minutes of no answers James decided to leave and not come back.

As soon as the apartment door clicked Kendall flopped sideways onto the couch and turned on the television. He scrolled through the channels until he found a child's cartoon. After a few minutes his mom arrived and said that diner that night will be something dealing with chicken. It was later that night after supper when Kendall started to worry about James. He had asked Carlos about James but Carlos said he hadn't heard from him. He tried calling his phone but it went directly to voice mail, probably a dead battery.

Kendall went to bed that night with nothing but James on his mind, constantly wondering if he was okay. "What happened with Jo was some sort of sign. He had to like girls right? Then again he was thinking about James too...Could his arousal be because of the thoughts he had of James? Why didn't he feel the same spark with Jo as he had felt when James had touched him so intimately? He then realized the obvious truth, he was almost, no, he was attracted to James. But why was he only attracted to him? Why not the other guys around him or in the band? "He pondered this for hours until he silently cried himself to sleep hoping that by morning James would be home. Kendall hated to admit it but he was thinking that this might be more than just a simple curiosity.

When James walked out of the palm woods he felt like life was sucked away from him. He slowly moped along the streets until he found a small corner in an alley. Later that night James pulled out his phone only to discover that it was dead. He then reached for his back pocket and pulled out the charger only to realize there was not an outlet anywhere. Around three in the morning a local bum seen James and told him about a laundry mat a few blocks west and James thanked him. James thanked him and began the short journey to the Laundry mat.

Once James' phone was plugged in, he powered it on. He went turned on airplane mode and then his Wi-Fi so he couldn't receive texts or phone calls. He decided to leave them and he didn't want them trying to convince him to go back.

The next morning Kendall woke up to no James. He sent off a message that he hoped James would get. It all depends on if James had deleted the app.

Around six that morning James was woken up by some sort of message his phone had received. When he looked down he was shocked to see that it was from an app that he and Kendall joking installed and set up an account for. The app was a planner and messenger that allowed couples to communicate. James was shocked that Kendall had still had it let alone talk to him. He opened the message only to begin crying at what he read.

"James it has been twelve hours since you left and I can't tell you how much it hurts to not hear you in the next room at night or even hear you when you get your midnight snack. The apartment feels empty without you here. Please come home we are all worried about you."

James looked at the text and wondered if it was a trick he didn't know if Kendall Was telling the truth...

**A/N Sorry for the wait everyone, and I'm really sorry about this short chapter. I have had crazy hours at the store, retail slave, so please bear with me as I attempt to finish this story. BTW This is my first ever chapter on fan-fiction I hope y'all enjoyed! Comments are welcomes and so is criticism.**


	6. The News

"James it has been twelve hours since you left and I can't tell you how much it hurts to not hear you in the next room at night or even hear you when you get your midnight snack. The apartment feels empty without you here. Please come home we are all worried about you."

James looked at his phone and decided that Kendall was right, he needed to go back to the apartment.

James looked for some street sign so that he can get an idea of where he was at. He read the sign at the end of the black and he knew he was a long ways away from the comfort of apartment 2J.

Kendall walked around the apartment, he sent the text to James early that morning after hours of restlessness. He waited by his phone and checked it religiously, every noise he heard he prayed it was James. When the phone went off it was all Kendall could do to keep from mowing everyone over.

"James?"

"No this is Officer Darrell with the L.A. police department. I need to speak with the parent or guardian of Mr. James Diamond."

"Is everything okay?" Kendall's look and question alerted everyone in the room.

"I just need to speak with a guardian please"

Kendall reluctantly handed the phone over to his mom.

"This is Mrs. Knight how may I help you?"

"Ma'am are you the guardian of Mr. Diamond?"

"Yes sir, is everything okay?"

"Ma'am James has been in a non-fatal car crash. He was in the crosswalk when a drunk driver hit him. He is on the way to the hospital now to look after. I can't discuss the specifics over the phone however I will meet you at the hospital to fill you in."

"Thank you officer I appreciate it." And she hung up.

Everyone looked at Kendall's mom as she turned away to conceal the worry in her eyes. As she looked at her son she could tell that he knew something was not well and it had to do with James…

The ride to the hospital was the longest ride ever. They were close to the place and it was only about ten minutes however, to Kendall, it felt like hours. Kendall was worried about James like never before. He finally realized that the feeling he had for James were more than just a friendship, it was more than just brotherly love, and it was love. Now all Kendall could do is show James that he was ready and that he accepted that he was meant to be with James.

James looked around and realized that something was different. He looked around the room he was in and soon realized that it was a hospital. He tried to remember what had happened and how he had gotten there. The last thing he remembers though is him looking both ways at a crosswalk before walking.

He looked in the bed and realized that the figure with hair in a mess and lacerations about its face was the physical James. He thought on this for a second and realized that he could move around and it not affect his body. As he moved closer he touched the cool skin. He noted several bruises along his arms and legs. He also noted that his left arm and leg were in a cast. He then realized that he must have been hit by a vehicle.

He looked up toward some noise coming outside of the ICU ward. The doors and windows were glass making it easy to see through them. What he saw shocked him. A guard had Kendall restrained and the head of security was telling him off. The tears on his face spoke volumes and it hurt James to see Kendall cry the way he was. This caused James to feel lightheaded and he went back to his room. People rushed in and started pushing drugs into his system. He wondered what the fuss was about however he found out when he looked at his decreasing blood pressure.

Kendall looked and tried to follow James as he was rushed out of the ICU. The head nurse walked to him and his mother and explained that James had some serious internal bleeding that was not seen in the initial examination. She also told them that they needed some blood if possible from someone who shared his blood type. Kendall told them his blood type and it was a match. They took what they could from Kendall and thanked him.

Hours had flown by without any word on James' condition. Kendall clutched his arm where they had drawn the blood from waiting in silence for some sign from a nurse or from a doctor. Nothing. He watched the screen and watched his mom. He was taken out of his silence hours later by a doctor who walked up. He looked tired and worn out. He looked like he had news that he did not want to have to deliver. He looked up glancing around the room and focused on Kendall.

The doctor made his way across the waiting room only to turn and talk to the person beside him. Apparently they had lost their daughter and grand-daughter to a car accident. Kendall then realized that James could die on the operating table. He looked and saw the world spinning, his world was spinning. Thoughts of not having James in his life made him sick. He tried to get up and move only to fall into the doctors arms.

James woke up to find Kendall still waiting by the door to the ICU. A man in a suit walked up to group and asked them questions. James was too tired to walk over and try and eavesdrop. He moved to the chair and watched the lifeless body on the bed that is his former self. His thoughts were interrupted when a handsome figure walked into his room. He looked closely and soon realized that is was Kendall. He walked over to the blonde and touched his shoulder. Kendall looked up then looked back down only to let a silent tear fall down his cheek.

Kendall looked at James and he soon realized that having a lawyer made things a lot easier when it came to hospitals. He silently picked up James' cold hand. He kissed it and set it back down.

"Nothing is really as it seems James. It feels like you are here with me yet all I see is a bruised up body in front of me. James I don't know if you can hear me but I want you to know that I love you. I want you to know that if you want to leave this world you can I won't hate you for it."

Kendall broke down in tears and clutched his arm with his free hand. He looked so broken like this. James walked away feeling useless and hopeless he walked the hospital until he came to the cafeteria. He then heard a familiar voice, a beautiful voice that sounded like it longed to be with someone. He was captivated by the voice and he paused and waited for the next word, the next sound…

"Wait a minute before you tell me anything how was your day? 'Cause I been missing you by my side, yeah"

James' hand moved under Kendall's. Kendall looked up only to meet the most beautiful light-brown eyes in the world.

**A/N:**

**Hey y'all sorry it has been so long between work and school(Im back in school now!) and volunteering at the local fire department, things have been ****hectic****. Life smoothed out about two weeks ago only to have it go crazy again after a severe car wreck totaled my car and put me on ****bed-rest****for 72 hours. Anyway Im doing well again and everything is in place. I have started a Facebook Page titled Working wolf so that everyone can get in contact with me a lot easier. My plan is to post ideas and polls and things like that on there to get feedback from my readers. Hope y'all enjoy it. By the way the link can be found on my ****fanfic****profile!**

**Working Wolf**


	7. The Nightmare, The Reality

"KENDALL!"

Kendall rushed in the shared room of apartment 2J. He frantically looked around the room searching for where the noise came from. Hearing the shower running gave him a hint on where to look. Upon opening the door he saw a sight that made him cringe. James had fallen in the shower and caused one of the casts to get soaked in water. Being that his casts were still on for another two weeks, this irritated Kendall.

Kendall turned red when he realized that his gaze was trained on James' toned body.

"Are you going to gaze at me like a fan-girl would or are you going to help me up?"

He snapped out of his trance and began to help James up,

This wasn't Kendall's first glance at the superstar's body. Being that James loved to do the exact opposite of what the doctor instructed, this was a common sight.

"James what the hell were you thinking this time? You do realize that we are here to help you until you get this cast off and rebuild your strength right?"

Kendall felt like a worried mother looking after he sick child. James had enough common sense to listen to the doctor didn't he? Why wasn't he doing what he was told?

Kendall worked to dry James off and get him dressed as best as possible. James looked adorable as he pouted. Kendall could get used to looking after James.

James looked at his alarm clock and at the blonde laying in his arms. It was three a.m. and James couldn't sleep…again. Every time he falls asleep the nightmare keeps coming back. The scene unfolds before him. He kissed Kendall and laid back, hoping some sleep without a bad dream will come his way

James looked at his phone and decided that Kendall was right, he needed to go back to the apartment.

_James looked for some street sign so that he can get an idea of where he was at. He read the sign at the end of the black and he knew he was a long ways away from the comfort of apartment 2J. By this time it was almost eleven in the morning so he was beginning to get hungry. James walked three blocks before he found a good crossing where there was glorious food on the other side. Being safety conscious he walked into the street looking both ways first. The next thing he remembers is the pain in his side then the world spinning. He heard a voice that wasn't there. He felt shaking that didn't happen. All at once he was pulled back into reality. He felt warm liquid fall along his cheeks and he sees green eyes looking back at him. The eyes look familiar except this time the look in those eyes were not of love but worry. _

James soon realized that he was in his room and Kendall was by his side. The clock said it was 5am. Two hours of sleep was better than the 30 minutes he got last night.

Kendall held onto him for the next three hours. The hold Kendall had on James was protective yet loving. It was like Kendall was trying to tell James that he was safe and that there was nothing to worry about. James knew that Kendall was with him for the long run. He was glad that he was cared for. With that the alarm went off, time for another day of sitting on the couch.

**TWO MONTHS LATER:**

James was waiting patiently as the final paperwork was finished. He had completed the rehab and he had that stupid cast off. Since the cast came off Kendall was by James' side constantly making sure that nothing got in the way of James. He considered James fragile and he needed to protect him at all cost. What Kendall doesn't know is what is going to happen when they get back to the apartment.

When they returned to the apartment James sent Kendall on an errand that would keep him away for an hour, more than enough time to get things ready for a big night. James pulled out all of the necessary supplies for the night and conveniently placed them beside the bed. He pulled out a couple roses and pulled the pedals off. He strew them across the bed and the bedroom and as he moved around he lit small candles. As it grew closer to the time for Kendall to get home he began to draw the bath water. It was not too hot and not too cold. He lit the small candles in the bathroom and turned off the lights in both rooms. He pulled out some other supplies and put them in the bathroom. When he heard Kendall call his name he respo0nded that he was in the room, little did Kendall know what laid behind the bedroom door. When he opened the door he was shocked. He saw the bedroom was like a romantic paradise. Everything looked like it came out of a romantic novel.

Kendall moved toward the bathroom not knowing what other surprises he would find however what he saw turned him on beyond belief. Before him was a bubble bath, beneath the bubbles was the superstar that he called his. James moved beckoning Kendall closer to him. Without thinking Kendall moved closer, leaving a trail of clothes behind him. Once he sank down in the tub he was greeted by a pair of skilled hands. They worked the knots and the aches out of his back and shoulders causing him to melt into the young brunettes hands. He leaned back and relaxed against James. His hands began exploring around his legs and the legs that were around him. He pulled the arms of the man behind him around his torso and held them close to his heart. Kendall felt something beginning to stir behind his back. He realized something was there that wasn't there before. He looked behind him and was met with awaiting lips. The next movements were swift. The water was draining and they were drying off. The moved to the slightly heated room and fell on the bed, entangled in each other's arms. They moved up further on the bed, James leading the way and comforting Kendall. This was going to be there real first time.

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait y'all I had to work some massive overtime. The next chapter may be the last chapter of the series. I'm looking to try and start a new series I can call my own. If you want to keep up with what's going on with me and my life and updates on new story ideas please follow me on my blog or on Facebook. The links for both are on my page however I'll tell you here too! workingwolf**

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	8. The Special moment

James hovered over the frail and nervous young man. He looked deep into his eyes looking for any signs that there may be regret later. The only thing he saw was love and yes even a little bit of fear.

Kendall looked up into James' eyes looking for the comfort that he needed. He found the comfort in the larger touches that grazed along his hip and neck. Kendall felt at peace, yet extremely turned on at the very same time. The light kisses that traced his collar bone up to his ear put him in a state of pure bliss. James caressed Kendall's hips and abs while he placed more kisses along his jawline making his way to where his lips would soon meet Kendall's. Kendall's body was limp at the attention that he was getting.

His hands were stretched out as he relaxed and focused on the sensations that James was giving him. James' lips brushed Kendall's as he gently kissed the young blonde. James moved his left hand up to cup Kendall's chin as he gently kissed him, his tongue asking for permission to enter. The kiss escalated from just a little tongue wrestling to more of a deep passion and fire that neither knew they had had. James' hands flew over Kendall's, memorizing every muscle, every movement the other boy made. James brushed against Kendall's member causing Kendall to break the kiss and buck into James. James ground back into Kendall causing him to let out a low moan. The kiss depended as both men ground into each other. James moved his hand over Kendall's manhood and started to massage his shaft. The sudden touch and massage Kendall had caused him to grunt and moan. He squirmed underneath James.

James kissed down Kendall's body slowly, he traced the blondes nipples with is tongue and even nipped at them to see what reaction he would get. The warmth he felt on his hand told him that he had done something right. Kendall breathing slowed and he lost a little color.

"Babe are you okay?"

"Im….im sorry James…I….the feelings were just so…so….so good I couldn't st..."

James stopped him and kissed him.

"It's okay as long as you are okay. Do you want to continue or are you ready to stop?"

Kendall's face went red. "I still have some energy left, can you maybe"….

James kissed him again and nodded, the answer was not communicated however the level of love and understanding they felt for each other allowed for them to communicate without words.

James kissed Kendall as he put some lube in his hand. He rolled the lube between his fingers to warm it so he didn't shock Kendall. The young blonde winced a little as the first of four digits made its way inside of him. The pleasure he was feeling was soon written on his face and James to this as a sign to add a second finger. He waited for Kendall to relax before fingering him to loosen him up.

"James I'm ready. Please, I want you in me'' Kendall moaned and James kissed him.

James grabbed the lube and lubed both his shaft and Kendall's entrance. James kissed Kendall as he started to push inside Kendall. Once he past the first muscle he waited for the man beneath him to adjust to his girth. Before James could ask he was alright he found his eight-and-a-half-inches of manhood buried to the hilt inside the blonde. James gasped and moaned, trying to keep from busting inside Kendall before they even got started. However Kendall rotated his hips lightly and James couldn't stop himself. He pushed hard into Kendall, brushing his prostate. Kendall's body locked into a second orgasm. James pushed through his band-mate's orgasm, quickly approaching his own, James kissed Kendall before blowing inside him. He thrust into Kendall through his orgasm, claiming him by pushing his seed deeper into Kendall.

As James lay panting Kendall kissed him lightly on the cheek and then the lips.

"Hey James?"

"Yeah babe?"  
>"Thank you for being my first."<p>

"You're welcome hun."

"Hey James?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we go another round?"

**A/N: I do not own BTR although I do wish they were mineXD. Okay so I believe this is the last chapter however I have not made up my mind entirely. Please comment below your opinions, all are welcome! Thanks everyone!**


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